And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
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