@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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