The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Randomize
