Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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