As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
