When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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