Non-Jews are for practice
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
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