I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
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