Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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