you traded sex for a burrito?
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
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