omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I think I deserve the nobel peace prize for discovering that one should smoke before drinking instead of drinking before smoking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize