i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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