Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
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