It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
