she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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