remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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