i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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