I looked at my own cervix.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
"Why is there a bottle of Tequila taped to the fan?"
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
Randomize
