Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
