Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
