Got a toothbrush?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
