My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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