just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
