I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I have already put on my inside pants.
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