Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
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