i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
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