Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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