I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
