This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
Just high enough for therapy.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
