He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
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