Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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