Pretty sure my dad just walked in on me jerking off watching guys on webcam. Remember how I used to say "most awkward day of my life?" I'm retiring that phrase.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
