I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
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I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
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First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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