Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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