Can Purell be used as lube?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
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