Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
There is a guy dressed as Captain America in the theatre. I want to make out with him even though I have no idea what he looks like. Wish me luck, I'm going in.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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