my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Randomize
