That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
Randomize
