this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Randomize