You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Don't use the things I tell you while drunk after the bruins won the cup against me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I had nothing but condoms at the checkout, then grabbed a pack of Orbitz gum and said "gotta protect from bad breath" felt like a boss
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize