It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
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