I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
Your dad touched me again.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
This is the high leading the old right now
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
Randomize
