it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
