everyone is single if you try hard enough
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize