the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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