I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
