My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Randomize
