want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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