What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize