Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
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