How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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