If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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