we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
