You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
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