I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
