508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
