you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
