just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
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She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
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I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
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