I am full of burrito and curiosity
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
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he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
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You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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